>I admit that I have written some fairly disgusting things. I can’t help it; my brain just seems to work that way. It must be genetic, and here is the proof. I was talking to my bubbe a few years ago. She asked me what my plans were for the evening and I told her that I was sleeping over at a friend’s house. She became all bent out of shape over it, and told me that I should never sleep over at a friend’s house because there might be discharge on the sheets.

Hello? That is totally demented! How the fuck does that logic come to be? Was she sleeping over at her friend’s house back in Russia when she was a girl? If so, does she not understand that I am friends with people who have at least a modicum of sanitary standards. Yeesh. I mean, I definitely worry when I am staying at a hotel that there might be jizz on the sheets, but that is because I don’t know the people who run the joint. For fuck’s sake, there are my friends. If they give me discharge-y sheets it is probably my fault for being friends with someone who doesn’t wear underwear to bed or do laundry.