>This is Brian J. Conant, President of Flat-D Innovations, (left) and Frank J. Conant, "Flatulence Guru," (above). I "met" them one day when my friend M. sent me an email with the subject "For your blog" and a link to www.flatd.com in the body of the email. (This was very good timing, as I was seriously despairing about evil women who screw the rest of us over by being total cuntfaces, and just then one of my delightful friends pops up and reminds me that there are some super cool, awesome, rockin ladies with excellent senses of humor out there. )

Anyway, here is what you will find if you follow the link to Flat-D's women only products:

At Flat-D Innovations, we specialize in producing products that neutralize embarrasing [sic] feminine crotch odors. Through research, prototypes and live testing (with real customers) we're pleased to introduce a new line of women’s products: The “FEM-D”, “Thong-D” and "Overpad Plus."

Our “FEM-D” was developed for women that have had flatulence and vaginal odor issues.


The “Thong-D” was developed for women who wear thong underwear and have flatulence issues.

Our “Overpad-D" and“Overpad-Plus”pads were developed for women that have their menstrual cycle (and/or incontinence) and are concerned about the odors associated with it. All three of these products were developed specifically for women.These products will give you confidence and eliminate the embarrassment caused by these types of odors.

Our products do not cure the odor but can definitely provide you with relief from the symptom.

Read our complete white paper on female odor control problems. Female Hygiene

Every time I read this, I laugh hysterically. What is not gut busting hilarious about people earnestly trying to sell women underwear that cure “crotch odors?” I really wish that I was smart enough to have written this first. The nice thing about Flat-D (that's short for flatulence deodorizer) is that is is doctor recommened (I swear the website makes this claim) and understands that men and canines can be smelly too!

If you have any questions after reading all about farts on the Flat-D website, you can email their medical expert ("Due to medical liability concerns only flatulence related questions will be answered by the doctor."), read an essay (Flatulence is part of life! By Frank Morosky, Flatulence Guru), or join their flatulence yahoo group. Great stuff.

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