>My friend’s sister walked into her office wearing a beaver coat last winter. One of her co-workers saw it and went nuts. He kept waving PETA literature in her face and telling her what a monster she is to kill innocent animals to wear their fur. My friend’s sister tells the guy that he’s a hypocrite because he is wearing leather and also eats hamburgers all the time. Slaughter houses aren’t exactly hotels, you know. The guy defends himself by saying that at least he uses the whole cow. My friend’s sister doesn’t miss a beat. “And how do you know I don’t eat beaver?” she says and walks away.

Later, she tells her family the story over dinner. Her grandmother was very proud of her for standing up to the office ideological bully. “That’s right! You tell the world that you eat beaver!” she beams.