>A few years ago, the woman winner of Boston Marathon had her period at the time of the race. As she crossed the finish line, blood, piss, and diarrhea were dipping down her leg. I was thinking about this brave and amazing woman a few nights ago at the gym as I pounded away on the treadmill and my crotch was super sweaty and I nearly peed myself at one point, which always happens when I run hard. I was quite grateful at my cotton bikini briefs for absorbing most of it (although I admit the crotches of my running pants permanently reek, no matter how many times I wash them).

Now that I am the proud owner of a hideous orange thong with a rhinestone B monogram, I suspect that sweat will begin trickling down my legs. My friend insists that thongs are great to work out in, and is excited to go workout together while we each wear a thong (this is not as kinky as it sounds). I think she will be very sorry as I begin stinking up the gym with crotch rot, but we’ll see. It’s an experiment, and I am all for scientific inquiry and unbiased results.