>A few summers ago, Stella and I went to a sculpture park in Queens. It was a public park that was not exactly well maintained, nor did it display particularly good works of art. As we tromped through weeds and tried to avoid stepping in piles of dog crap that littered the park (as I said, it was poorly maintained), we rounded a row of hedges and came almost face to face (or should I say head to head?) with a guy who was very involved in jerking himself off. After the initial shock wore off, we got away as fast we could. It was a really weird sculpture park, but we were pretty sure that this guy was not booked as a performance artist. Again, there’s a time and place for everything. What was it about a 2D, 10 foot tall aluminum Jolly Green Giant sculpture that could make a guy so horny that he had to blow his wad at that very second, despite being in public? Or maybe it was the miniaturized sculpture of Old Faithful that supposedly emitted a geyser when told to do so by a remote computer. Did the geyser go off and remind this guy of his own geyser-producing capability? Was he controlled by a remote computer that forced him to erupt despite the inconvenient time and place? I’ll never know. One was a flag pole. I’m talking about an everyday flagpole like you’d see in front of any government building without stopping in your tracks because you are stunned by what an amazing piece of art you are blessed to be witness to.

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