>When my husband and I bought our apartment, the seller asked us if we planned to join the fancy gym across the street.  I told him that we did not, as that gym is for rich assholes.  We already belonged to a gym down the street and around the corner from the new apartment.  Our gym was for average assholes like ourselves.  A few months after we moved in, however, my husband learned that through his work we could get all access memberships to the fancy gym for the same price we paid for restricted access to our adequate gym.  (We got the special rate for models and B-list stars.)  Understanding a good deal, I agreed to make the switch.

The fancy gym was quite different from what I was used to.  At our previous gym, people of various sizes and colors sweated next to each other.  During our orientation to the new gym, I noticed that we were the fattest people in the building, which is scary because we are not especially overweight.  Over time, I have seen some boy mass index diversification among the members, but it is still dominated by rich (white) assholes.

Here’s what freaked me out most about the new gym in the first few months, though: the locker room.  Generally, I change into my workout clothes at home and use the locker room to store my coat and backpack.  In my few minutes stashing and locking things up, naked women always surrounded me.  Not naked in the sense that they just got out of the shower and were changing back into their clothes.  That would be normal.  No, they were hanging out in little groups, chatting it up, gossiping, combing their hair, and putting on make up while they were buck naked.  And worse, many women had a tendency to bend over and lotion up before they put their underwear on.  Now many guys have gotten a dreamy look on their faces when I mentioned this.  But imagine bending over to tie your show and finding someone’s ass and cooch in your face.  It is just plain gross. Of course, as stylish, thin, rich naked women, their pubic hair was professionally removed.  (The gym knows it’s market: there’s a sign in the locker room advertising the “best Brazilian wax ever” can be obtained at the gym’s spa.)

So my victory this morning was especially sweet.  I noticed as I was grabbing my stuff that several women were getting dressed in their stylish, opaque or mesh bikini briefs or thongs.  Those women all had pubic hair clearly visible.  Now, they definitely maintained their bikini lines, so no pubic sprawl was going on, but they still at least had normal looking bushes.  And no one was lotioning up, so I didn’t get any vagina in my face, either.  Really, two victories for the price of one.  Go CUSS!

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