>If Sarah Silverman’s new movie, Jesus is Magic, does well, I have the best premise for a new movie. Basically, it’ll be about the wacky true adventures of Steph, one of my best friends, and me. But slightly fictionalized so that no one gets hurt.

I met Steph at NYU where she was one of the few students who were not Asian or Jewish. She’s also almost 6 feet tall, likes wearing loud outfits and/or t-shirts with clever/rude slogans, swears a lot and calls people cunts, and extremely, extremely loud. (Oh, and did I mention that she’s currently in library school the South?) I am about 5 feet tall, Jewish, wear pink knee high boots and white tights, swear a lot and call people cunts, and am extremely, extremely loud. We like to taunt each other about our religions. We like to have a running commentary on everyone around us. We have done everything from try and find Jesse Bradshaw (who my husband insists is really Freddie Prinz Jr.’s twin brother, Eddie Prinz Jr.) at a Columbia student film festival that we snuck into (with husband in tow) to making human pyramids (with my husband in tow) and forcing random people to take pictures of it. Harmless, silly adventures full of swearing and mocking others – perfect family entertainment.

The movie will be called The Adventures of Big White Girl and Her Short Jewish Sidekick. It’s a cross between Thelma and Louise and Passion of the Christ. Or like Ben-Hur meets 13 Going on 30 I’m telling you, it will be brilliant.