>Generally I have a very negative and pessamistic view of things, so I was pleasantly surprised that after a very unpleasant incident, I was able to find something good. To whit: Foolishly believing that people in their late 20s and older are responsible, I agreed to have a wine, cheese, and cholocate party at my apartment. Generally, people were responsible. However, this did not include my usually lovable husband, who got very trashed and threw up all over himself and in our bed at 3 AM. I ushered the dumbfuck into the bathroom and made him take his clothes of and get in the shower. This was seriously the most vile smelling puke ever, probably because the wine he consumed at the end of the party was purposely left for the end because it was not good and it was less likely that people would care as the night got later. Also, he had a salad earlier in the evening and I discovered it is true that lettuce takes a long time to digest. Since his clothes were coated with reeking, steaming vomit, I put them in a trash bag and decided to let him decide what to do with it the next day, although I highly recommended throwing them out.

As a very uptight teetotaler who has made it abundantly clear that I do not tolerate such things, the following day was very very bad. However, I did realize that the shirt he ruined with barf happened to be a shirt that I seriously loathe. It was a bright orange button down monstrosity. I have often hoped that he would get rid of it. By spewing on it, he did create a very good reason for me to chuck it. So there's the bright side: I will never have to see that shirt again. And my husband owes me big time.

Comment