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unshaved snatch

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Yarn. Vagina. No.

My friend Nancy sent me a link to a post about a woman in Australia who is shoving yarn up her vagina and knitting a scarf from it. I watched the video. I was mostly grossed out by it. Yarn seems like a horrible thing to shove into a vagina (or any body cavity for that matter). It's not even the part about getting her period on the yarn that bothers me most, although bloody yarn also seems icky, no matter what the blood source is. No. What I keep fixating on all the flyaway threats that come off various yarns and how she is going to get an infection. Seriously, how is that not going to happen? Whenever I wear a scarf, there is always some sort of fluffy cast off. I am worried for this woman's health.

Why, people? Why must we engage in creepy weird projects to in some convoluted effort to make vulvas "not scary?" Because I actually think that shoving things up your cooter to show that it is not scary is, in fact, pretty scary. We don't seem to do this with other body parts. Eye sockets, for example, are a little creepy. I don't (fortunately) see people randomly insert things into their eye sockets in some effort to make them less ooky.

On the flip side, I thought I caught a glimpse of some pubic hair, so good for her for keeping the natural wool while utilizing other wool for her scarf. But still. I think this definitely ranks as a don't-try-this-at-home idea. *shudder*

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Dear Douchenozzle

I have two quick thoughts for the douchenozzle who wrote Dear Girls, Please Shave Your Pubic Hair: 1. Bernie, I really hope that this is not addressed to girls. First, any men who look at girls in a sexual manner are pedophiles. Girls are not adults. Also, since girls are not adults or even matured as young women, they have no pubic hair to shave.

2. Women's bodies are not yours, Bernie, to sculpt for your own sexual pleasure. If you can't get hard because of pubic hair, I don't blame myself. That's your problem, not mine. My guess (never having met you as far as I know) is that you also do not make me wet. That's just how it is.

I really hope that the post was a joke. If it is, touche. Otherwise, I totally dig the comments. Bring out the angry feminists!

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Things that Are Awesome in 5773

Good things about for me in 5773, this new Jewish New Year that began Sunday night. I started a new job last week, and I am loving it. I have not said something like this in years, if ever. I also have an essay that was accepted for publication by Freshly Hatched the online lit mag of Freerange Nonfiction. I am not going to try and pretend I am not balls out excited by this. As soon I it is published, the link will obviously be provided. I also really, really love this: When was the last time I posted about unshaved snatch? I don't know. But this towel cracks my ass up. I say just add a little fur to the legs, and it's perfect.

Speaking of unshaved snatch, I love this article by my online friend Alyssa Royce about why she chooses to not have pubic hair. I'm all for ladies to determine for themselves what they do with and to their bodies, so even though I will never, ever go that route, good for her for doing what is best for her. My big opposition to the whole hairless thing is the pressure that is put on women go pube-less or be deemed disgusting, dirty freaks. (I may in fact be a disgusting, dirty freak, but not because I have pubes.) However, I'll not judge a woman for her decision so long as she leaves me the fuck alone about mine. (That said, I will judge the fuck out of men who pressure ladies to remove pubes when they themselves don't feel the need to subject themselves to wax, razors, lasers, whatever on their genitalia. And don't give me that shit about shaving one's face counting. It doesn't.)

Here's to hoping that 5773 continues to bring good things. L'shava tova and g'mar chativa tova!

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