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bad puns


Since You've Been Gone

I kind of liked Kelly Clarkson. Her songs are snappy. She didn't have anything handed to her on a silver platter. She's cute. She weighs a little more than your average lady pop star and when critics snipe at her weight, she ignores them. I find that very admirable. And then... She said she loves Ron Paul.*

Why, Kelly Clarkson, why? She later defended her statement, noting that she doesn't agree with everything Paul stands for. She said, "I do not support racism. I support gay rights, straight rights, women's rights, men's rights, white/black/purple/orange rights". That is all very nice except that Paul kind of is adamantly opposed to all of those things (minus the men's rights). Clarkson may like that he stands for less government interference, except that he stands for the highest levels government interference in the most private of realms. So I just don't get it. It makes me think that Clarkson just doesn't want to pay her fair share of taxes to support a fair and just society. If that's the case, I'm super disappointed.

Once Ron Paul and his dangerous, fundamental-minded ilk are gone, I will breathe for the first time in a long time. Until then, Clarkson is gone from my list of neat celebrities.

*Although for a little while I was confused and thought she endorsed Rick Santorum, which would be even worse since we opposes all forms of birth control, but still...



Don't We Have Anything Better To Do?*

Feb. 15, 1994 Today 350 reporters were camped out in Sarasota, FL. Why? What event could be so newsworthy that required 350 reporters - the size of a small town population - to cover it adequately? A typhoon? UFO? Another sighting of the Virgin Mary? No, none of those, although there is a certain religious fervor to the whole thing. Actually, what happened was Michael Jordan practiced baseball.

Baseball, like basketball, is a sport. We enjoy sports in our leisure time. But the problem is that major league, even college, sports have moved beyond being just a fun way to relax. They've become multi-zillion dollar obsessions. People in America know more about their favorite athletes than they do about geography or other "scholarly" subjects. That scares me. Truthfully, that scares me a lot.

Where are we headed as a society who takes games more seriously than we do politics? I'm wondering what would happen if the Bulls become the "Quad Squad" this year and, on the same night they sweep the series, the President of the United States (god forbid) gets assassinated. I tell you, news rooms across the country would find themselves in the midst of a crisis: which even should get the headline. I'd hope it would be our President, but I'm not so sure it would be. That's the significance professional sports have gained.

I don't know how it happened, either. Sure, sports are fun to watch, but isn't it a bit frightening that athletic superstars make 10 to 40 times more money than the President of our country?!? I mean, sure, all a President has to do is help run a country, but these athletes can hit a ball with a stick! (Take THAT, President Clinton!)

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm not a bit surprised that our country's future is looking a bit dim in certain areas. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if a year's salary for a superstar athlete is more than the entire budget for some schools. It's enough to make a person want to drop out of school to make a nice buck shooting hoops. (I'm not saying no one should dream of doing it, but it's bad to rely on it only.)

At any rate, I'm just looking forward to the day when I can look up proudly, solute the Commander in Chief, and say, "Just do it, President Jordan!"

*This journal entry has been brought to you by NIKE. 'Cause NIKE understands that you can't REALLY play ball without $185 pump up shoes! (But that's another story!)



Sex Scandals and Other Universal Things

This one was written in the AP Poli Sci journal in green pen. Exciting enough to ignore my lack of knowledge regarding the entire Victorian period... Feb. 9, 1994

I saw on the news yesterday that the Conservative Party in Britain is once again suffering from a sex scandal. All these cabinet guys are being caught with mistresses and prostitutes. Another big honcho was found dead, wearing only a garter belt and tied to the bed posts with nylon stockings.

For some strange reason, I find this very amusing. I guess you can see the slow change from the tradition in this whole sex thing. It used to be that kings, aristocrats, and other noblemen had mistresses. It was common knowledge. They had "illegitimate" children and had houses built to house their mistresses and children. How times have changed! Now, it is NOT acceptable to fool around. A person could get in pretty hot water - no pun intended - politically. This is a pretty good illustration of how Britain has changed over time.

Truthfully, the whole thing just annoys me to no end. Historically, if a man had an affair, all he got was a slap on the wrist. But god forbid a woman should, well, she was forced to wear a scarlet "A" (in America, at least) or put to death in some societies. Now, the whole thing is pretty much a joke. Clinton had an affair, but that doesn't mean he's a bad politician. Prince Charles has an affair - who cares? I certainly don't. Sure, they're fun to read about, but what someone does in his/her sex life really doesn't concern me. I have better things to worry about.

On an unrelated topic, today is the BEATLES' 30th ANNIVERSARY! I just love the Beatles! They certainly impacted American culture! They are my favorite band! Hurrah!