Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

* because life is hairy *

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Vagina Visor: Protect Your Inner Vulva Today!

Many thanks to frogger for directing me to Va j-j Visor:
My life was seriously lacking without this valuable piece of plastic, which is designed to "protect all of those tender and sensitive parts that you don't want exposed during various methods of hair removal." Or naked tanning. Or pubic hair dying. Not only is the plastic cup stylish and eco-friendly ("your body's natural muscular tension holds it effortlessly in place.* It is also hypoallergenic, disposable and recyclable."), but it's doctor recommended! Er, sort of:
A well-respected gynecologist in Tacoma, Washington assisted us in the development of the Va j-j Visor. He answered pertinent questions, gave expert input and opinions, and found that the Va j-j Visor offered a great fit and would help in protecting the inner vulva area during its various uses.

I love when the people who help develop a product don't share their names because perhaps they might be a little less "well-respected" as a result.

Anyway, I don't know how I've managed to go on all these years without a special vagina visor, but please, do not use the Va jj Visor to try on bathing suits without underwear, as the website touts as a potential use for this versatile product. Your delicate flower and its potential seeping nectar may be covered, I still don't want your naked ass all over something that I am potentially going to purchase.

Dear fellow humans, why must you vex me so with your creativity?

*"To create a more powerful seal, spread personal lubricant around the upper inside of the Va j-j Visor. Saliva can also be used in what we like to call the 'lick it and stick it' method."

Labels: , ,

10 Comments:

At April 28, 2009 10:29 AM, Blogger Count Mockula said...

Oh my god, you didn't make up the "lick it and stick it" part? Goodness gracious...

 
At April 28, 2009 10:36 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I wish I did! It's brilliant!

 
At April 28, 2009 9:34 PM, Anonymous Jessica said...

I can totally see those creepy "dads" in the purity ball movement super gluing this to their daughter's delicate flower...

 
At April 28, 2009 10:36 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Using the "lick and stick" method?

OK, sorry - that was too gross even for me...

 
At April 28, 2009 11:08 PM, Anonymous jessica said...

lol!

 
At April 28, 2009 11:14 PM, Blogger mar said...

my response would be "gack!"

 
At April 30, 2009 11:05 AM, Anonymous Jill said...

Can't we stop using the word "va j-j"? It's so pathetically immature. Just call it a "sanitary visor" if you're so freaked out about saying "vagina." After all, we get that "sanitary napkins" aren't napkins.

 
At April 30, 2009 11:52 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

They're not napkins? Shit, I should stop wiping my face with them, probably.

ha ha ha ha - good point.

 
At April 30, 2009 5:30 PM, Blogger NoRegrets said...

People dye their pubic hair??!!

 
At February 11, 2010 9:35 PM, Blogger Makeda said...

People dye their LABIA. Seriously, it's scary.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%253A%252F%252Fjezebel.com%252F5469743%252Fthe-vagacial-now-your-vagina-needs-a-facial-too&h=57b9cf142996cec42b08c0acf5f5b226&ref=nf

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home