Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

* because life is hairy *

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Things I Know

I know that I am not a great writer, and probably will never be a great writer.
I know that I want to be a better writer.
I know that I decided to go back to school so I could learn more about the craft of writing.
I know that attending an MFA program was a scary decision because it meant I would have to confront my lack of literary skill.
I know that I am not a lyrical or beautiful writer, but I also know that it is as hard to pull off humorous writing as it is to craft a gorgeous sentence.
I know that, although I am not a literary writer, I deserve to have my writing treated with respect.
I know that one person in my workshop thinks so lowly of me that she thought it was appropriate to leave me the following comment: "My bologna has a first name! It's n-o-t t-h-i-s s-e-n-t-e-n-c-e, p-l-e-a-s-e!"
I know that the person who wrote such an obnoxious line of criticism is capable of writing lyrical sentences.
I know that I have a published book that seems to be selling well.
I know that two publishers asked me whether I would be interested in writing more books about New York City.
I win.

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19 Comments:

At October 07, 2008 8:54 AM, Blogger Stamford Talk said...

"I know that one person in my workshop thinks so lowly of me that she thought it was appropriate to leave me the following comment: 'My bologna has a first name! It's n-o-t t-h-i-s s-e-n-t-e-n-c-e, p-l-e-a-s-e!'"

I find myself intrigued by this nasty person.

 
At October 07, 2008 9:00 AM, Blogger mar said...

you do win.
(also, the word 'dolt' was in my word verification. that's what i think of that nasty person.)

 
At October 07, 2008 9:10 AM, Blogger Suzanne Reisman said...

I win, but I have to admit that I'm still pretty upset by it. The utter lack of respect this 22 year old seems to have for anyone she deems pedestrian is disconcerting.

 
At October 07, 2008 9:48 AM, Blogger NoRegrets said...

Oh, don't worry. She's going to hell. Or is living it right now. She has no self esteem obviously. But that doesn't mean you can't smack her. I would.

 
At October 07, 2008 10:25 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I'm so tempted to write on her next piece, "One day when you are my secretary, I might allow you to spruce up my memos with your poetic prose before you fax them." However, I will resist doing that or slapping the pompous smirk off her face, which is a compelling urge right now.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 
At October 07, 2008 10:56 AM, Anonymous meloukhia said...

Gah. We all think we're better than everyone else when we're 22. Just ignore it like the meaningless comment it is, and focus on the actual constructive critiques you got. If any. Personally, I would be tempted to discuss her lack of respect and juvenile attitude (in an MFA program?!) with the instructor.

 
At October 07, 2008 11:10 AM, Anonymous jessica said...

Um, well, I don't even UNDERSTAND her comment, so that's how smart I am!
God, 22 is such an obnoxious age. And, yeah, you DO win!
Mad props to you for doing this - I wouldn't have the talent OR balls - so, you win again!

 
At October 07, 2008 12:05 PM, Anonymous Yin said...

Wow. Rude. In my first semester, a young student spewed a lot of attacking bs comments to everyone. I think that non-fic writers have a hard time settling into workshop bc we are writing our truths, so it becomes much like group therapy and fucked up social dynamics surface quickly. Whatever. You certainly do win.
by the way- I am hosting a halloween student reading costume party. Let me know privately where to send the evite.

 
At October 07, 2008 12:29 PM, Anonymous Suzanne said...

Thanks, Yin. While I am sorry that you had that experience as well, I feel better knowing that it happens. Everyone else so far has been great, so this really shocked me.

Plus, you lit the fire under my ass to get my costume ready for Halloween.

 
At October 07, 2008 7:03 PM, Blogger Major Bedhead said...

Wow, what a vile comment. Hopefully she will get her comeuppance.

 
At October 07, 2008 8:17 PM, Blogger Shonda Little said...

You are brilliant, Suzanne! This little prick is as aware of that as I am. Clearly this kid thinks he or she is somebody and that particular brand of asshole always looks for ways to make it seem that you have no knowledge to bestow upon him or her.
Fuck 'em!

 
At October 07, 2008 9:56 PM, Blogger monkeygirl said...

am I going to need to hop the next plane east to regulate.
No one talks to east coast me like that! I think c... Is appropriate here.

 
At October 07, 2008 9:59 PM, Blogger Count Mockula said...

What a cunt-faced douche-bag vagsquatch. Fucking fuck.

Suzanne, you are rad.

 
At October 07, 2008 11:56 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said...

A 22-year-old insecure douchenozzle!

 
At October 08, 2008 12:13 AM, Blogger Hecticmom Undone said...

OMG. I hate people... You do win!

I really enjoy your writing. So there!

 
At October 08, 2008 1:55 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Thank you, everyone! What sucks about it is not that she hates my writing, but that she can't even bother to treat me with respect. Don't you suspect that she also frowns upon blogging?

Thus, I echo all the accusations of cunt-faced, douche nozzle, vagsquatch, fucking fuck cunt. (Big props to Count Mockula for half of those terms.) When I sent an email to my workshop instructor requesting time to talk about this situation (who was utterly horrified, and even apologized to me, which I didn't feel was necessary - she's not the pompous dildoface), I left these nouns out, but it was all implied.

 
At October 08, 2008 6:30 AM, Blogger Stamford Talk said...

I'm glad you emailed the prof!

 
At October 08, 2008 9:05 PM, Blogger Michele said...

As I reminded myself repeatedly in journalism school, "Lots of people think they are a good writer, but in fact, they are shit heads."

She'll get hers. Wait until she writes what she believes is a really great piece and the editor wipes his ass with it. Her ego will take a flying leap!

 
At October 15, 2008 12:58 PM, Blogger seego said...

レーシック
消費者金融
家庭教師 神奈川
キャッシング
プロミス
FX
ゴールドカード
神奈川県 墓石
ライオンズクラブ
素材屋ごちゃ
オーストラリアドル 円
縮毛矯正
家庭教師 茨城
通信講座
健康食品
クレジットカード
家庭教師 仙台
fx
新潟県 墓石
FX スプレッド 比較

 

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