Meet My New Furry Beaver!

(Sorry for the low quality of the picture.)




Last night Husband and I went over to my brother-in-law's place. A new crap shop opened around the corner from him, so we trooped over to check out the "deals." There was a disturbing preponderance of Ikea items being sold for more than their original prices, which struck me as hilarious. (Example: a coffee table that Husband and I bought for $20 at Ikea was marked as $25 at the nameless junk store.) Then I spotted the furry little beaver huddled on an Ikea nightstand, and felt the need to rescue her. She was a bargain at $3.

Not far from where I bought my new beaver is a real beaver spa! For a mere $150, a woman can get a special pelvic exam in which the doctor crams her finger up the river (so to speak), and by squeezing her beaver on the finger, determine how weak her vaginal muscles are. The spa also offers beaver fitness classes and beautification specials.

Yeah. I'll keep my beaver at home. Thanks.