House Rules

While we were in Chicago, my bestest friend Steph visited some of her other chums in New York City and stayed at my apartment. Although I was sad to miss seeing my giant white friend, it worked out well because she fed Tycho, my giant white pet rabbit. I told her to sleep in our bedroom as opposed to on the couch, as his enormous furriness screws up her sinuses.

Upon my return home yesterday morning, I found a yellow post-it note in Husband's chicken scratch handwriting left on a pillow. It read:

ABSOLUTELY NO

• DEFECATING


• URINATING


• EATING


• JUMPING


• SEX

IN THE BED.
THANK YOU
-MGT

I rang Steph at work. "I saw Husband left you some instructions regarding the bed," I said when she answered.

She busted up. "Yeah, I put them back where I found him 'cause I figured they applied to him, too."

They both crack me up.