Way Down Yonder in the... Pineapple Patch?
I called my parents to say good-bye last night before Husband and I leave for our big trip to Hawaii. Here's an actual transcript (from my mind) of part of the conversation:
Mom: Have a great time in Hawaii! While you're picking pineapples, be careful...
Suzanne: That they don't fall on my head?
Mom: No, that they don't scratch your thighs!
Suzanne: What? What do you mean scratch my thighs?!? Pineapples grow in trees!
Mom: No, I think they grow on vines, like in a patch.
Suzanne: Um, pineapples definitely grow in trees. (Laughing hysterically.)
Husband: (overhearing part of the conversation) Everyone knows that children grow in patches!
Mom: That makes about as much sense as coconuts growing on trees. Those things are heavy!
posted by Suzanne @ 8:25 AM
and I'm more than delighted to send some your way. Spread (ha ha!) the word!
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9 Comments:
This has nothing to do with Hawaii but I like to read about me so I want you to write about our gift exchange and my superior wrapping skills. Just kidding, actually, I wanted you to share what husband's new post-it notes say and your hilarious brilliance in creating my makeshift gift.
Steph
I wish I took a picture of the Book because I have not laughed like that in ages. I swear that I almost had an asthma attack as a result. You know what I'm thinking? You need to write a guest post.
The book, not Book. Although that might even be funnier.
Actually, not to side with your mom, but pineapple trees are only about 3 feet tall, so you should be more careful of your thighs than your head, unless you and Husband are getting frisky in the pineapple patch!
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It's sort of like a pineapple bush, then, isn't it?
The last line of your mom's is the killer.
When OS had his field trip to pick apples and pumpkins they had these fucked up vine pumpkin "tree" and now he insists that pumpkins grow on trees. He's 4 though!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alex Elliot!
Everyone, please remember that this "actual transcript' came from Suzanne's mind. I rest my case; the authenticity is seriously compromised!
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