Halloween Correspondence: The Terror of My Family

The following email exchange took place this week between my mom and my friend Steph. What you will read below are slightly abbreviated versions of the actual text. I did not make any of this up, although I did change the names to protect the guilty. You have been warned.

Mom: Suzanne's Dad dressed up like an accountant. The scary question is, what was your costume? Actually, the scariest costume of all was Granny's. She wore her diaphanous, almost transparent, worn-out house dress sans underwear, got mad at me when I reacted with horror, and said, "Like the kids really took the time to look!!!"

Steph: If Granny is busy flashing the neighborhood kids, she sounds like she's almost back to normal - well, what passes for normal in your family anyway:) That's hilarious that she insists on wearing that ancient housedress. I thought you were going to tell me that she was dressed as a spirit and that was why she was going for the diaphanous look. I must compliment you on your use of that nice big word. You may want to pass it on to your daughter as she studies for the GRE's.

Go out and buy Granny a pair of Lollipops, would ya? We can't have her mooning the neighborhood:)

(OK, I also inserted the Lollipops link.) I'm probably gonna get a tongue lashing for sharing this, but it was too fucking funny not to do so.