Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

* because life is hairy *

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

L'Chaim, Jewish Pussy

Any Jew worth his horns knows that "L'Chaim" means "to life." Anyone who has seen Fiddler on the Roof may remember the fine song sung to celebrate when Tevye agrees that his daughter Tzeitel, who is maybe in her late teens or early 20s, will marry Lazar Wolf, the lecherous old shtetl (that's ghetto) butcher who ogles Tzeitel like a choice cut of kosher meat every time the poor girl has to go to his shop. Tevye thinks that this is a good arrangement for Tzeitel, since his family is mired in poverty and the widowed butcher is rich, so she'll be comfortable in life. (And one can always hope that the old fuck will die quickly and just leave her with the money, a la Anna Nicole Smith, but I don't know that this actually crossed Tevye's mind.)

The point is, there's a big song called "L'Chaim" that celebrates life. I was thinking about this last night (and now can't get the damn song out of my head) because sundown marks Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, 5768. Traditionally, apples and honey are eaten at the start of the New Year in hopes of it being a sweet year. Last night, Husband compared Jewish pussy to this custom, saying that he likes to dip his apple in the honey, then laughing sleazily. (Update clarification: because it was a funny joke! He's not creepy!) I'll never be able to think about a sweet New Year the same way again. Ah, I adore him.

L'chaim and shana tova.

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12 Comments:

At September 12, 2007 10:18 AM, Blogger super des said...

Wow, Husband is a little creepy. But I'm glad you've shared it with the world.

 
At September 12, 2007 10:37 AM, Blogger urban pedestrian said...

Aw come on now super des -- you gotta give husband props for still lusting after the old ball and chain's honeypot. It's cute --- though I'm glad I'm not the one who has to deal with his apple-shaped honey-pot dipper.

 
At September 12, 2007 11:20 AM, Blogger Gunfighter said...

"To life, to Life! L'Chaim!

L'Chaim, L'Chaim, To Life!"

 
At September 12, 2007 11:39 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Cut him some slack - it was totally a joke. :)

 
At September 12, 2007 1:22 PM, Blogger super des said...

Dammit, I got it as a joke. But jokes can be creepy.

 
At September 12, 2007 2:00 PM, Blogger DangerDoll said...

This post has been removed by the author.

 
At September 12, 2007 2:01 PM, Blogger DangerDoll said...

Awww! A perverted love story. That's beautiful, man. Beautiful.

*sniffs*

 
At September 12, 2007 4:12 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Fair enough, but it made me realize that maybe other people might not know, and then I felt guilty about slandering his good name.

 
At September 12, 2007 9:13 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said...

You two are perfect for each other. I hope everyone gets plenty of apples and/or honey this year.

 
At September 12, 2007 10:42 PM, Anonymous Erin - ExpectingExecutive said...

Happy New Year!

Erin

 
At September 12, 2007 11:28 PM, Blogger Alex Elliot said...

Happy New Year! I hope your MIL doesn't read this post.

 
At September 13, 2007 10:19 AM, Blogger Michele said...

My you, your husband and your unshaved snatch be listed and sealed in the book of life!

Oh, now that I wrote that, is it disrespectful to say that with snatch included?

 

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