The Pearly Gates of Judgement
In the past, I have discussed the significance of pointy-toed shoes as an indicator of wenchiness. This evening as I was walking home from the subway, I realized the second most important signal that a woman is a twat: she is under the age of 35 and wearing a strand of pearls. (Actually, this should probably be the first sign, not pointy-toed shoes.) It has been my experience that young women who wear a strand of pearls are snobby, uptight, stupid people to avoid. There is a vibe of “I’m so classy; I have pearls” that just radiates from them. Of course, a young woman wearing a “pearl necklace” is different from a strand of pearls.
I realize that my little snap judgments about whether women are bitches or not based on their shoe and neck wear are not always accurate. I have many friends who are foolish enough to wear pointy-toed shoes yet are wonderful people. Is it wrong to judge people based on their clothes? Sure, but it happens all the time anyway. At least I am willing to get to know someone wearing pointy-toed shoes and decide whether they shoe fits the wearer, so to speak.
posted by Suzanne @ 11:14 PM
and I'm more than delighted to send some your way. Spread (ha ha!) the word!
8 Comments:
Personally, I just don't get the whole pointy shoe thing. They look terrible and uncomfortable. And, traditionally haven't women lied about their shoe size to appear smaller(why?). Even the smallest feet look huge in these things.
Dianne
They're judging us on our clothes too, so I wouldn't feel *too* bad...
I can see that pointy shoes would be worn by the aggressive bitch type.
i think pointy toe shoes may have been invented by podiatrists so as to have more bunyons and hammertoes to operate on... as for pearls, i think they can look cute under the right circumstances.
let's face it, a pearl necklace is always cute. Am I the only one who got this and thinks it's fucking hesterical?
That would be hysterical...
I agree with Dr. P when she says pearls can look cute under the right circumstances. You've seen The House of Yes, right? Parker Posey done up as an imitation Jackie-O, pearls and short black dress and all, is super-cute.
Hey Rebecca - is Parker Posey's character a snob in that movie? Just curious.
And anonymous, thanks for liking my pearl necklace joke. I crack myself up when I think about some snotty bitch walking around with a jizz neck.
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