Golden Shower

Who the hell remembers where I read about this (as you probably figured out by reading other posts, memory is not my strong suit), but a few years ago I learned that it is, in fact, possible for women to pee standing up. It is by no means as simple as it is for men (believe me, penis envy exists – but only when women walk into disgusting bathrooms), but it can be done. The technique is:
1. Spread labia and put finger at top of urethra;
2. Angle urethra up;
3. Pee.

It takes practice, and whatever article I read advised potential practitioners to perfect the technique in the shower before trying it elsewhere, or risk pissing all over yourself and your clothes. One woman in the article claimed that she got so good that she could just open her fly, pull her undies aside, and let go. Generally, I am a very good squatter, but you never know when that will not suffice, and it still requires me to get close to some nasty toilets. I became slightly obsessed for a few months with the concept of peeing standing up. Of course, this upset my husband greatly as it entailed me peeing in the shower a lot to practice, and as a newbie, sometimes missing the drain (my target). (He should be appreciative that all I did was pee, which is easily washed away, whereas some guy wrote into the sex column at Time Out New York earlier this year and said that his girlfriend shits in the shower and smooshes it down the drain with her feet. Now that is seriously nasty.) I got bored with it after a while, but I still think it is an awesome skill to acquire.